smoke

ya so recently i have been fucking emo.
play basketball no mood.
paiseh lionel just now really no mood to play.
so i went home earlier.
and don post the tag tat u mentioned.
serious. haha.

this will be the first post abt smoking..
recently i smoke..
alot..
ard 10 each day..
ppl always say, if u don't love yourself, nobody will love you..
so i guess i don't really love myself..
i smoke alot..
too much..

when i smoke, ususally is when i got nothing better to do...
when i smoke, i think about my problems...
when i smoke, 1 stick is not enough...
when i smoke, around 8 mins per stick...
when i think about my problems, 8 mins is not enough...
so when i smoke, i smoke alot...
last week, i'm able to control myself to 5 - 6 per day...
theres a reason why i could do it...
seriously i'm proud i did tat...
this week, i can't...
a sudden change in "weather" is killing me.

i know all these r bullshit....
using excuses to smoke....
for non - smoker, this is wat u will think....
for smoker, i think u will know my feelings....
but all that know abt my blog, don't smoke.
well maybe only one....
thats good....
i'm trying hard to stop.. and i'm serious....
i almost thought i could do it last week....