I Cried

Went to visit ah ma at 6.30pm.
Many things happen..
Critical.

I cried. i thought i never will cry for these stuff.
My thinking was people will get old, they will die. so will I.
There is no need to cry.
But it doesn't work this way.

I cried when her oxygen is below average. docter say it is very dangerous.
I cried again when her blood pressure is low, very low.
I cried when she die.

I am there till her very last moment.
I am glad.
I am very fortunate.

job

ok where do i start from...

sort of busy week.
wed went for job interview at Global Energy.
ya i don't have any pants and shirt.
so i rush down to compasspoint to get a shirt. $59.90. OMFG.
borrowed pants from lionel.

took cab down to the office. almost late.
interview goes well..

friday went for 2nd interview.
i bought my own pants.. omg $71.90! OMFG again. lucky got 20% off..
3pm to reach so i got there earlier.
2.45pm started interview.
they asked me damn lot of question.
so it went on and on...
4.45 ended..
seems like i just gotten a damn stressful job..
what to do..
PSA called me at 7+pm asking to me sign contract for the technician job...
damn it.
so late then contact me. nevermind.
when she asked why i do not want the job anymore. i told her the reason.
then she said "aiya, why you never say earlier. we also got purchaser job need people."
wtf man.

went to hospital to visit ah ma.
she slept the whole day though..
but could see tat she's sufferring. my heart ached...
she can't take in water... so when she breath.. i could hear the sound..
its nothing good. much of terrible..
the nurse had to use something to suck out the "thing" out from her throat i think..
when she did tat.. i went out.. but i could hear the suffering sound made by her...
seriously ached...
one of the nurse said that all her organ is already not working normally.. all gotten worse...
so i guess...

met lionel, hongwei and their friend taiming for supper.
when i got in then i noticed they fetching another lady.
ok i kinda felt im sort of the odd 1 out.
she's rachel. air stewardess..
she gave each of us a chocolate..
which she said she got it from germany.
i ate before.. so i know its nice.
when the drinks came.. i was about the pay for the drinks when the ah neh said later he come back collect money.
but after he said that, rachel pay for it and the ah neh accept. wtf man.
4 BIG man let 1 girl treat! paiseh..
i wanted to treat.. but nevermind.

ya and some other things happen blah blah.
end.

edited verison.

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so you won't see That I want and I need everything that we should be I'll bet he's wonderful, that guy you talks about And he's got everything that I have to live without

Drew talks to me, I laugh cause it's sodamn funny
That I can't even see anyone when you're with me
You says you're so in love, you finally got it right,
I wonder if you knows you're all I think about at night

Your're the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
You're the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do

Drew walks by me, can you tell that I can't breathe?
And there you goes, so perfectly,
The kind of flawless I wish I could be
He'd better hold you tight, give you all his love
Look in those beautiful eyes and know he's lucky cause

Your're the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
You're the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do

So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light
I'll put your picture down and maybe
Get some sleep tonight

You're the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart
You're the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do
You're the time taken up, but there's never enough
And you're all that I need to fall into..

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so you won't see.

FRiday. busy day!

3 weeks

things tend to happen too fast.
its just 3 weeks.
a relationship can become so bad.
u got ur side of story. the other got own story.
u endure. i endure.
both don wan to say.
both got probs.
n both fuck off from each other.
funny.
ya watever. im just outsider.
show ur fuked up mood to me.
i don wan to bother it anymore.

watched 10 promises to my dog.
damn nice.
touching.
many ppl were crying! hahah.
i did not tho... but i did feel the sadness there.
cute golden retriever!

these are the 10 promises. got it from the offical web.

1. Give me time to understand what you want of me.
2. Place your trust on me. It's crucial to my well-being.
3. Be aware that however you treat me, i will never forget.
4. Before you scold me for being lazy, ask yourself if something might be bothering me.
5. Talk to me sometimes. Even if I don't understand your words, I do understand your voice when it's speaking to me.
6. Remeber before you hit me, I have teeth that could hurt you, but that i choose not to bite you.
7. Take care of me when i get old.
8. You have your work, your entertainment, and your friends, I have only you.
9. My life is likely to last 10-15 years. Any separation from you will be painful to me.
10. Go with me difficult journeys. Everything is easier for me if you are there. Remember I love you. . .

but from the movie i think is abit different.
eg. no.6.. i think is before you hit me, remember i will grow up stronger one day.
and no.10 accompany me when I'm dying..
not exactly sure.
good show. i rate it 8/10!

thunder storm

seems like it will be a stormy night...
faster rain! so i can have a better slp..
recently i had been slping early..
but i feel like slping late tonight..
so i don't need to wake up early in the morning or afternoon...
staring at the wall with nth to do..
well tat timing, no one to talk with.
no bball tml. lionel going for training..
omfg.
rot whole day.
grow mushroom.

prawning

12-07-2008

went prawning today! got 7 in 2 hrs.
lousy i know..

some understanding today.
Bad - You are eaten.
Worse - You got puked out..
Worst - Nobody even want to eat you...
Thats life..
I think i got the T. :)

shortlisted

lionel i nv camp!
i can't slp. so i on my com again..
hoping to find the person i wanted to talk to.
but nvm, offline liao.
so i just visit my blog see who tag.
i replied n off comp.
slept at 2 am.. on the bed for 1 1/2 hrs, can't slp.
woke at 6.15am.

while waiting for all the people to come.
sit n meeting room. stone..
all stranger.
i haven't had my breakfast, i could feel my stomach will "grumble" soon.
n it really did.
abit paiseh..
a few times...
ahaa
many ppl interviewed for the same job as mine.
but today went for height test, only 2 of us selected..
hoho..
meaning i got a better chance!
which i hope...

climb up the crane... he mentioned its 8 storey high...
but i think its even more....
like 12?
tiring to climb...

waited for the medical check up..
more than 1 hr...
sian..

went to kristie ROM... hoho
finally she got married...
not many ppl go actually..
will post the pic when i got it.

smoke

ya so recently i have been fucking emo.
play basketball no mood.
paiseh lionel just now really no mood to play.
so i went home earlier.
and don post the tag tat u mentioned.
serious. haha.

this will be the first post abt smoking..
recently i smoke..
alot..
ard 10 each day..
ppl always say, if u don't love yourself, nobody will love you..
so i guess i don't really love myself..
i smoke alot..
too much..

when i smoke, ususally is when i got nothing better to do...
when i smoke, i think about my problems...
when i smoke, 1 stick is not enough...
when i smoke, around 8 mins per stick...
when i think about my problems, 8 mins is not enough...
so when i smoke, i smoke alot...
last week, i'm able to control myself to 5 - 6 per day...
theres a reason why i could do it...
seriously i'm proud i did tat...
this week, i can't...
a sudden change in "weather" is killing me.

i know all these r bullshit....
using excuses to smoke....
for non - smoker, this is wat u will think....
for smoker, i think u will know my feelings....
but all that know abt my blog, don't smoke.
well maybe only one....
thats good....
i'm trying hard to stop.. and i'm serious....
i almost thought i could do it last week....

turn back time

woke up at 10.30am..
suppose to meet yvaine for a savings plan talk.
at PS.. but cancelled.
cozs i don feel like going out...

even blogging, i still try not to say all all my feelings..
funny isn't it..

haha alex im alright.. the nxt time u see me, u won't see any difference.. maybe fatter tats it.
thanks.

If only I could turn back time,if only I had said what I still hide.

things don work vice versa in life..
u pay n u don get paid.
thats the theory anyway.
get used to it.
i will be back to myself.
happy go lucky.
not affected by .....
i will be good.

Spiderman

went to kovan.
met up with my cousin~ kristie.
she went to slimming centre~ haha
had our breakfast lunch dinner at hk cafe. sinful~~
talk quite alot ba...

PSA called!!! i had to go for a height test on friday, 8 am.
woo hoo.
daniel call in the afternoon n ask if PSA called me.
he said once u got into the height test part, u r halfway thru the interview!!! a step closer for the job..

played bball.. shot many many balls.. left hand very tired.. strained i mean..
told qhui abt growing mushroom thingy.
n so she told huiru abt tat.
haiz..
no need to entertain me de...

Spiderman said 1 thing.... "When people need help, i will be there. When i need help, im by myself." . well. guess i got the spiderman lifestyle...
and seriously, im quite used to it already... so its fine~
i won't make a fuss abt it. so ignore me.

recently i've been slping earlier. last time i slept at 4 + 5am.. now i trying to slp ealier to
try adapt just in case i got a job, tat had to wake up early..
but trying to slp earlier means will get up earlier.
morning is so boring. nth to do. no one to chat with. lucky im busy with some things this wk. if not, i will just be on my bed rotting...
mushroom will start growing..
got to find something to do already...
when boring and lonely, imagination will come...

who am i? im spiderman

lionel say tat part sound like im in love. so i del it. :(
ok i decided to leave the post as it was.
watever u think ~~

moody

went for interview.
they talk more abt my spf than interviewing me. they seems so interested in police....
damn.

played bball.
lost all 4 games..
damn.

had kfc for dinner.
very sinful..
damn.

online use com.
nobody to talk to.
damn.

huiru told me a joke.
i thought is some funny question or wat.
then she told me abt wat happen to her today. 2 things bully her.
she saw a big housefly and so she screamed.
the other is on the way back home, she saw a cockroach.
so she stand still n scream. public was laughing at her.
ok tats funny actually.
well tat did made my day. ok nite actually.

she keep asking if is becoz she nv talk to me tats y i emo.well im nt sure..
hhaha.maybe?
the feeling just come. don know wat happen.

cheers for now~

pathetic

sometimes when i get too lonely.
i will check my phone if its off?
y no one contact me or sms me.
is my phone spoilt?
i will off it n on it again.
theres nth wrong.
well tats when im too boring.
like today..
i receive no sms! received 2 calls! only!
i believe my network of fren is not tat pathetic.
but i think im pathetic one...
i don wan to sms anyone for chat or wat. even when im home i also nv msg anyone online.
i shall see who will be the one tat will talk to me.
and i will think, why talk to me?
need help? u lonely too? or im the last choice.
fuck it

no update

ok since ppl request for update.
this will be it.

NO UPDATE.
the end...

ok recently im kinda busy with some stuff....
preparing for interview.
play bball almost 4 times weekly...
plucking mushroom...
no time for jogging recently...

went to funeral wake last wk..
helped out over there.. arranging the tables. serve some "customer" drinks n some nuts..
2nd day went there to overnite. lucky my bro n i, and 1 of wai fren was there.
if not pf and wai will be staring at each other the whole nite...
we were having mac tat nite. then bro suddenly say, "eh got black cat leh" n he continue with his food.

eh wtf? chase tat cat away. so ks n me did it.. lol damn funny.
we played card game tat nite.. almost whole nite..
big 2, and black jack. lol.
guess wats our bets, melon seed(gua zi).
hahaa. in the end they were like 4 against 1. 4 against me. cozs i got the most "money".
we were playing halfway when they started to eat tat melon seed haha. so they get some extra n put in the middle to share.
i was so guai lan so i said "eh see, i can even donate to the plate for u all to eat.. too much already. my bowl full"
ok in the end i lost all my bet. we bet 1 rd. i lost all.
ahaha
after tat we put back the melon seed into the container. which is suppose to serve to "customer"
hahahaah. evil~~.

watched "You don't mess with Zohan" on sunday. damn funny show.
but alex slept awhile. wasted.

end of update~

wake

get a call in the morning. interview! haha.
but im like a big boss. i ask him can tml or not. today not free.

met lionel n alan play bball.
halfway received a sms from wai.
peifang's father pass away.
damn it.
so sudden.
feel sad....
no mood to play basketball.
in the end, abit dragged to play.
won.

thurs schedule

wake up
interview
go to wake.
movie at nite(maybe only)



life is so fragile.
nv even notice.
its gone.
treasure all ur loves 1.

resume

sian i sent out so ard 7 resume yesterday. only got 1 reply..
watever i sian liao.
met lionel n hongwei to play ball.went to jalan kayu for supper


.
so long nv see the black n the white 1 . aha



lol wtf

wtf!

the new show"girl" for iman. crap

quite pro



technician n show "girl" with racer

poser